


ain't about the complications

by achilleees



Series: ridic au fics the discord asked for [2]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: 5 Times, Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Exhibitionism, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-09 04:12:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16442756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achilleees/pseuds/achilleees
Summary: “I don’t think my psyche can recover from that,” Holster said as soon as Jack and Kent had walked off, slumping over and knuckling his eyes as if trying to rub the sight of Jack’s clothed boner out of them by force.“Neither can mine,” Nursey said, a little open-mouthed. “Not a good day for the ‘just because I’m bisexual doesn’t mean I lust after the guys in the locker room’ rhetoric.”OR; 5 times Jack's teammates got up close and personal with his sex life with sugar baby Kent.





	ain't about the complications

**Author's Note:**

> so this is a brief coda to a much larger fic that i'll never publish, which is why it's going to seem hard to follow, but tbh i kind of like that style where you have to piece together the storyline a bit from the hints you're given.
> 
> what you need to know: all of jack's samwell teammates are his nhl teammates here. this is a universe where being a gay athlete is socially accepted, and more importantly, where hiring a professional sugar baby is also socially accepted. take it from there.
> 
> the bieber lyric titles continue, duh.

1

“I don’t think my psyche can recover from that,” Holster said as soon as Jack and Kent had walked off, slumping over and knuckling his eyes as if trying to rub the sight of Jack’s clothed boner out of them by force.

“Neither can mine,” Nursey said, a little open-mouthed. “Not a good day for the ‘just because I’m bisexual doesn’t mean I lust after the guys in the locker room’ rhetoric.”

“Of all the people I never pictured fucking in the bathroom of a club,” Ransom mused. “Well, no, Chowder’s first, but Jack’s a close second.”

“I am so happy for him,” Shitty said.

Chowder looked kind of dazed.

“What do you think Jack is doing to him right now?” Shitty asked cheerfully.

Nursey and Holster both whimpered.

“Or better, what do you think Jack was doing to him to turn him on so much?” Shitty continued. “Like, actually fingering him? Or - I wasn’t watching super close, did it look like he was jerking him off?”

“Please stop,” Holster moaned, covering his ears.

“I’m only 80% certain Jack wasn’t literally fucking him in front of us,” Ransom said.

“Please stop,” Nursey said.

“You know, that’s very possible,” Shitty said. He stroked his mustache. “I am not positive he wasn’t.”

“Think of the children!” Holster said, kicking at Shitty.

“Chowder can take it,” Shitty said, waving his hand.

“I was talking about myself!”

“Oh, well, fuck that, then,” Shitty said. “Chowder, input?”

“Aw, he’s blushing,” Ransom cooed.

“They’re probably fucking,” Shitty decided. “Over the bathroom sink.”

Nursey covered his face with his hands.

“Jesus,” Holster said. “I think I’m scarred for life.”

2

Ransom slipped away from the brunch table when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. Wandering into the living room, he answered and was immediately met with an off-key chorus of _We Wish You a Merry Christmas_.

“Aw, guys,” he said, when they were done. “I’m touched.”

“See, he’s not in a bad mood,” Holster said. “Told you.”

“Why would I be in a bad mood?” Ransom said.

Several voices chimed in at once, with “Jack’s being all-” “We called Jack-” “Ask Jack, we -”

“Aw, don’t call Jack on Christmas morning,” Ransom said. “Toronto doesn’t do réveillon, so I’m not still shit-faced from last night.”

“Yeah, that’s what he said, but s’not a good enough excuse to be a grumpy-gills,” Shitty grumbled.

“Wouldn’t be Christmas without our captain yelling at us,” Holster chimed in merrily.

“Shut up, I’m not grumpy,” Jack’s voice filtered in, rough and deep. But he didn’t sound particularly grouchy to Ransom. If anything, his voice was a little strained.

Oh, Jack. Ransom grinned. “So, Jack, whatcha up to?”

“Nothin’,” Jack said, a beat too slow.

“I didn’t realize you were bringing Parse to meet your folks,” Ransom said.

Jack was conspicuously silent, but the other boys filled in the gaps.

“What? You brought Kent home?” Chowder said.

“Shit, how’d your parents take that?” Shitty said.

“Yooo, that’s a ballsy move,” Holster said.

“How did you know that?” Dex said, suspicious.

“Really, Dex?” Ransom snorted. “Jack, buddy, tell me, how’d you spend Christmas Eve?”

“Shut up, Rans,” Jack said.

“Ohh,” Shitty said. “Fuckin’ duh, shoulda guessed.”

“What?” Chowder said. “Huh?”

Ransom just grinned. If Jack wanted to get blown on the phone while he was talking to all of them - only detectable through the minute hitches of his breath and the hoarseness of his voice - then Ransom wasn’t gonna wreck it for him. Kinky motherfucker, though, seriously.

“Nothing, Chowder, forget it,” Ransom said soothingly. “So, who are we calling next?”

“Nursey,” Shitty said. “What are we singing, boys?”

“Deck the Halls!” Chowder said.

“On it,” Holster said, apparently leading this conference call.

Ransom opened his texts while that was getting set up. _You dirty sluts_ , he sent Kent.

He wasn’t going to get anything back for a while, but he was probably happier that way.

3

Dex was wandering down the hallway towards Chowder’s room when he heard Chowder’s voice cheering from down the hall, so he veered off course and rapped his knuckles on the door.

A moment later, Shitty opened it from the inside. “C’mon in, bro. We’re catchin’ the end of the Sharks game before heading to dinner.”

“Alright,” Dex said, coming in and flopping down onto the bed next to Chowder. “Dude, I’m telling you, there is something _so uncool_ about rooting this hard for a team in your own division.”

Chowder looked at him, nose wrinkled. “If I didn’t listen the first 50 times, Poindexter, I’m not sure what makes you think I’m going to listen the 51st.”

“That was some sick contempt there,” Nursey said admiringly.

“Aw yeah, C-man with the sass,” Ransom said, reaching over to fist-bump him.

Dex sighed. “They’re up 4-1 and there’s less than a minute left,” he said. “And I’m hungry - can’t we just go?”

“So impatient,” Holster sighed. “Young padawan -”

“Oh my god, I will leave,” Dex said, making to stand.

“Just go get Jack and we’ll head out,” Ransom said, ruffling Dex’s hair.

“Where is he?” Dex said.

“On the balcony,” Shitty said, flapping his hand.

Dex looked over and saw Jack leaning against the railing, his phone pressed to his ear. “Oh, I don’t want to bother -”

“He’s been talking to his mom for ages,” Shitty said. “C’mon, kiddo, thought you were hungry.”

Dex’s stomach gave a perfectly-timed rumble. He sighed and went to the balcony, sliding it open to call to Jack.

“- know you can come without touching yourself,” Jack was growling low and smooth into the phone, “just one more finger, baby, I know you -”

Dex yanked the door shut and spun around, face red.

None of the guys even bothered feigning innocence. Holster was literally pointing and laughing.

“Chowder!” Dex said. “Aw, c’mon.”

“Sorry, Dex, they did it to me too,” Chowder said. “It only seemed fair.”

“Ugh,” Dex said, flopping onto his back and covering his face with a pillow. “UGH.”

“Poor kid,” Ransom said. “Aw, look, he’s blushing all the way down his neck!”

“I hate all of you,” Dex said, muffled.

Chowder patted his head.

4

“Hey!” came a loud voice in Nursey’s ear.

He looked over and grinned at Parse, too drunk to be startled by the sudden exclamation. “Sup?”

“Sup,” Parse said. “What are you drinking?”

“Fuck if I know,” Nursey said. “Ransom gave it to me. It’s purple, I think?”

“Nice, let me try it,” Parse said, leaning all the way over him to pluck it from his right hand, bracing himself on Nursey’s thigh for balance.

Nursey’s breath hitched as Parse’s knuckles grazed his cock. What the _what_.

Parse drank a good half of his drink before Nursey recovered enough of his brain to grab it back. “Hey!” Parse said.

“I should be Hey-ing you, don’t bogart my drink,” Nursey said. “Bro.”

“But it’s tasty,” Parse pouted, and stretched for it.

“Little man, you’ve gotta be kidding me,” Nursey said, chuckling and holding it away. “You are tiny, please.”

Kent leaned, reaching all the way over, and then - And then suddenly he was in Nursey’s lap, straddling his thighs and stealing the purple drink from slack fingers. He drained the rest of it. “Tasty,” he said, licking his lips after he finished.

“Yooo,” Nursey said, eyebrows raised. “You gonna tell me what this is about?”

Kent smirked. “Always knew you were a quick one, Derek,” he purred, and he rolled his hips into Nursey, all sexy and ripple-y like that lapdance Nursey did his best not to think about. “What do you think this is about?”

“I think Jack is gonna fucking kill me, so,” Nursey said, trying to extricate himself from under Kent without touching him.

“I really don’t think that’s true,” Kent said, and _ground_ against him, long and slow and so fucking good it made Nursey’s eyes roll back. He let out a low, stuttering moan.

Nursey forced himself to focus. “What - what are you -” He put his hands on Kent’s shoulders - the least sexual body part, right? Ugh, except they were surprisingly broad - and pushed.

“I thought you were supposed to be better than this,” Jack said, appearing suddenly behind Kent. He pressed a kiss to the side of Kent’s neck, smirking at Nursey over Kent’s shoulder.

“I thought I was,” Kent said, pouting. “Either I’m overestimating my own sex appeal or I’m underestimating your team’s respect slash fear for you. I’m hoping it’s the latter.”

“It’s the latter,” Nursey said, strained, as Kent ground against him again. “Dude!” He looked at Jack.

“C’mon, Derek,” Jack said, low and cajoling. “I’m sure you’re curious.” He raised one perfect eyebrow.

Nursey was _so_ curious. How a guy like Jack kept someone with Kent’s experience satisfied. How a guy like Kent kept _Jack_ satisfied. How that fucking giant dick, which he remembered distinctly despite having caught only a glimpse, fit inside Parse’s ass. What kind of blowjob skills a sugar baby of Parse’s caliber had learned.

“Let me get my coat,” he said, and squirmed away from under Parse, scrambling over the back of the couch to beeline for the coat check.

5

“He still breathing?”

“Yo, Chowder, you breathing?”

Chowder flashed two thumbs up and rolled over onto his back.

“Nah, buddy.” Large, strong hands rolled him onto his side.

Chowder cracked his eyes open.

Holster’s face swam above him, smiling broadly. “You want to drown in our own vomit, you’re gonna have to save it for a time you’re not passed out on my couch. That’d be just buddies of you, yeah?”

“Kay,” Chowder said, nodding. “I will do that.”

“Thanks, kiddo,” Holster said, ruffling his hair. “Jack, you make sure he doesn’t die, kay?”

“Will do.”

Chowder squinted past Holster’s broad form and saw Jack on the couch across from him, Kent sprawled in his lap. “Thank you, Jack,” he said.

“Anytime,” Jack said, grinning at him. “Drink some water, kid.”

Chowder obligingly sat halfway up to drink from the bottle someone had given him, holding it with both hands like a baby with a milk bottle.

“Good boy,” Jack said.

Chowder smiled and curled back up. “Just gonna nap for awhile, kay?” He didn’t wait for an answer before passing out again.

When he woke up, the place was dark and a lot quieter than it had been. He could hear voices from the kitchen, and some sort of repetitive thumping noise from the other direction. He squinted into the darkness, waiting for his eyes to adjust, trying to figure out what it was.

Oh. It was Jack, fucking Kent over the pool table. Of course.

Kent was on his back, legs hooked over Jack’s shoulders so his entire body was folded practically in half under him. He had Jack’s tie stuffed into his mouth to silence him, gripping the edge of the table with both hands, head tossed back and eyes closed. Jack was leaning in close, and Chowder could see his jaw working as he hissed nearly soundlessly in Kent’s ear, his back muscles flexing with every quick snap of his hips, so hard he had to clamp his hand on Kent’s hip to keep him in place.

Chowder stood and staggered to the kitchen. “Cheater,” he accused Holster, pulling up the remaining bar stool and slumping over on the counter.

“Yesss,” Holster said. “I _knew_ leaving you alone in a room with them for more than 20 minutes would work.”

“So who’s left?” Dex said, shaking his head.

“Me and Lardo,” Holster said. “I swear, I’m getting this 20 grand.”

“I maintain -” Nursey started to say.

“Bro, don’t even,” Ransom said. “For the zillionth time, it does not matter if you were part of the sex voluntarily or if you stumbled in accidentally - if you witness Jack fucking Kent up the ass, it counts.”

“Sigh,” Chowder said aloud. “I was doing really well, too.”

“At least you’re out on a day where you also won the Stanley Cup Championship,” Dex grumbled. “I saw them after we lost 8-0 to the fucking Sabres.”

Holster grinned. “One down, one to go,” he said, rubbing his hands together.

“Don’t be too smug,” Chowder yawned. He set his chin on his hand and smiled at Holster. “They’re fucking on your pool table.”

“Aw, _man_.”


End file.
